check it out our google latitudes are spooning
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Randomize
