Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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