My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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