if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize