just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
