When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
