Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize