Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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