I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
