I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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