Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
