Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
