just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
