is your mom at the bar?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
