I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
