Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
