the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
