I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
