I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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