If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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