idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
