It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
