I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
