8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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