I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
