Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
