he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
