never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
