Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize