I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
