My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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