I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize