What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
