It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
