if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
