Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize