I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
