Do you still have your period?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
oh god was she eating orange peels again
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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