She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
