At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize