Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
