I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
