I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
