I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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