I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
soo... how was my night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
