i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
