Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
