You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
