So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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