Betty ford says i'm here all night
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
