you have to choose: penises or morals?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
