dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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