you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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