He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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