Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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