It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
