This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
