you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Randomize