i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
